#but then Ive realised I actually don't have the time or money or energy to make banana bread (do therapy) so ive had to just
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soft-puppy-boyfriend · 1 month ago
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Shout out to my brain for convincing me that I'm still missing something in regards to preparing myself to start my new job next Monday, despite the fact that I've read a million "prepare yourself for work" articles and listicles and I have either everything already prepared or at least a plan to prepare that thing this week.
Its like when you're going on holiday and your brain is like "well what if you shit yourself every single day?? What if you pee yourself every five minutes even though you've never struggled with that at home?" Except it's my brain going "hey what happens if they expect you to bring your own phone headset?" Like???? They explicitly DONT, they have TOLD ME WHAT THEY EXPECT OF ME, can we STOP WORRYING OH MY GOD!???
#it doesnt help that the psych i found a couple weeks ago did NOT gel with me so im also on a psych hunt#which is now on pause til the new year because Im about to work 9-5 for five days a week for the first time since 2019#im not going to have TIME for therapy#im gonna maybe go do some helpful chores to shut my brain up and then play minecraft#which is not helpful because going to my partners therapy sessions has started helping me unmask#so its like im this banana thats been half peeled because oh! we were gonna start to make banana bread! (a metaphor here for therapy)#but then Ive realised I actually don't have the time or money or energy to make banana bread (do therapy) so ive had to just???#duct tape that unpeeled banana back together again#and the skin doesnt quite fit back properly so the flesh is poking through the holes and those exposed places are REALLY easy to damage#which like i know logically will be better in the long run for my banana bread but i have no sort of kitchen support at all#like the souix chef has fucked off the garbage boy never showed up for his shift the gravy kitchen hasnt worked in months#and the patisserie chef is way too distracted making eclairs out of chocolate laxatives to help with the fucking banana bread#anyway ive lost control of this metaphor which is actually a hilarious metaphor for my life and how im feeling about it right now#fingers crossed something comes of eventually getting on some sort of medication to help my brain because this genuinely isnt sustainable#especially with my brain going huurrr bdurr youre struggling??? heres a great way to regulate! *jazz hands* harm urself!!!!!#like fuck off kevin we both know thats not even remotely going to help#le sigh#okay thanks for reading if you got this far#im okay im fine im safe im just venting my feelings because journalling Just Wasnt EnoughTM this time#personal#raven rambles#work vent#mental health
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quodekash · 1 year ago
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IM GONNA HAVE A STROKE ITS TIME FOR EPISODE 4 OF DANGEROUS ROMANCE
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I think they should probably kiss right now. that would be nice please and thank you
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THE BACK TOUCH IM SCREAMING
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bro why he look so confused
is he having gay thoughts or smth and hes confused as to why it's soccer-ball-usb induced?
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I love this woman so much
my goddess
my queen
milf fr
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OML-
IM LITERALLY CRYING FROM RESTRAINING THE URGE TO LAUGH
I WOULDNT SAY THAT, KHUN
WE DONT KNOW THAT FOR SURE
like yeah, sailom can't rly control kang's study habits outside of their tutoring sessions, but I wouldn't say he can't control him like... at all, ever.
he has top vibes tbh
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HE AGREES WITH ME
"um, excuse me bitch (respectful), sailom controls me very well, I am a submissive QUEEN"
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"do you want to go on a date with me?" "will you be my boyfriend?" "can I kiss you?" all of the above?
I know it wont be any of the above but I can dream
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I JUST LOVE HIM SO MUCH
HE'S SO KIND ALL OF A SUDDEN???
he was fine with being the worst part of Sailom's life, and then suddenly discovered so many other things in his life that Sailom has to face every day, and the punishment he gets every month if he doesn't pay his debt, and Kang realises he's the least of Sailom's problems, and he suddenly wants to help him as much as he possibly can. previously, he was offering his money to Sailom but not as comfort or help, but because he recognised his privilege and power and used it to taunt Sailom and to remind him who is in charge. but then he saw two grown men assaulting him and nearly pressing a hot iron to his face, and Kang suddenly saw just how much power and privilege he has, in the sense that he can literally solve most of Sailom's problems (because they mostly boil down to money) without any change in his own status whatsoever
he went from wanting to be the worst part of Sailom's life, to wanting to fix the actual worst parts of his life, and I just love him so much can you blame me for loving him so much
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OKAY BUT THE FACT THAT THEY'RE BOTH IN SCHOOL UNIFORM IN THIS IS SO INTERESTING TO ME
like. are they just taking a detour on the way home from school? or did they run away?
ive got my fingers crossed for an episode (perhaps two?) where they've run away and it's all happy and fluffy and they're away from the pain and the drama and its just me and you and you and me and we can be happy while we're here, we don't have to worry what anyone else thinks about us because we're together. and its probably at a beach.
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HE GRABBED HIM BY THE ARM IM GONNA DIE THEY'RE SO REUBKJLF
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just give me a moment while I sob
NO BC HE'S HOLDING HIS HAND
LIKE-
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AAAAAA
THE HAND ON THE SHOULDER AND THE HAND ON THE HAND
I KNEW THIS FRIKIN VR SCENE WOULD KILL MY SOUL BUT LIKE IN A GOOD WAY
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why am I crying.
can someone please explain to me why this is making me cry.
its so domestic. help.
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YOU'RE LITERALLY SO IN LOVE WITH HIM????
THIS ENTIRE MONTAGE IS THE END OF ME HOLY HELL
THEYRE SO DOMESTIC. IM DYING.
KANG FALLING ASLEEP ON SAILOM'S SHOULDER??? SAILOM FIDGETING WITH THE PENCIL AND KANG LOOKING AT HIM AND THEN LOOKING AT EACH OTHER AND THEN JUST SMILING???? SAILOM PUTTING THE BLANKET OVER KANG WHEN HE FELL ASLEEP AT THE TABLE????
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THIS???????
IM GONNA CRY. AGAIN.
IM ALSO GONNA RUN OUT OF SCREENSHOTS FOR ONE TUMBLR POST BUT I DONT CARE, THEY MEAN TOO MUCH TO ME
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THATS IT.
IM DONE.
THAT'S THE END OF ME
I SWEAR I FEEL MYSELF RISING UP TO HEAVEN
wait now I think im going down, maybe im going to hell
I have no sense of direction, I got lost on the way to wherever I was going and now im back in my body but HOLY FRICK ITS VERY LIKELY THAT I WILL DIE AGAIN
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VUIERJSBDGOPUVJBEWSDOG
GOOD JOB
THATS SO FREAKING GOOD OMG
IM SO PROUD OF YOU HONEYYY
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oh look, a not-so-subtle ✨metaphor✨
I think it's about them studying? without wind, the windmills can't spin, and then can't produce energy. without Sailom, Kang wouldn't have the push he needs to study?
it's something like that
it also might not be about studying. it could be about kindness
if it weren't for Sailom's situation, Kang wouldn't have had the change of heart that caused him to be kinder (particularly towards Sailom but im also hoping that he's helping him develop deeper empathy for others who also aren't as fortunate as Kang)
idk its something like that
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he leaned closer and now I can't tell if he's genuinely asking the question, or if he's trying to flirt
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OKAY WITH THE MUSIC PLAYING I THINK IT'S PROBABLY BOTH
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IT'S FINALLY HAPPENED
HE FINALLY DID IT
THE TOP GOT FLUSTERED
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BRO THAT IS SUCH A SUGGESTIVE SMILE
HE KNEW WHAT HE WAS DOING, THE LITTLE RASCAL
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I think he should give him a good luck and goodbye kiss
I think they should kiss is what im saying
pLEASEKISS-
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WAIT I DIDNT THINK THEY WOULD ACTUALLY LISTEN????
I know they're not actually gonna kiss. I know he's just gonna like tell sailom about how his grandma wont let him tutor him if he fails his midterms BUT I DONT CARE, I FELT VICTORIOUS FOR A SECOND, AND THAT'S NOT A FEELING I GET OFTEN SO LET ME BASK IN THE GLORY FOR A MOMENT
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DUDE YOU'RE LITERALLY THE WIND TO HIS WINDMILL, OF COURSE YOU HAVE INFLUENCE
AND HAVE YOU SEEN HOW MUCH STUDYING KANG'S BEEN DOING WITH YOU?? YOU'VE HAD SUCH A POSITIVE IMPACT ON HIS LIFE ITS INSANE (and you should totally kiss about it)
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HE'S LITERALLY LYING AWAKE THINKING ABOUT HIM, IF THAT ISN'T THE GAYEST SHIT IDK WHAT IS
I mean maybe it's the exams hes thinking about. but he's mostly thinking about how, if he doesnt pass all his exams, he'll lose sailom, and he doesnt want that because a) sailom could get beat up to a pulp again, and b) he doesn't want to lose sailom as his tutor when tutoring is like the only time they get to see each other and hang out, and he's realised how much he likes sailom and that he desperately doesn't want to lose that friendship - or the potential for it to become something more
conclusion: gay.
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Y E S
YES YES YES YES YES
SIDE COUPLE MOMENT SIDE COUPLE MOMENT
THEY HATE EACH OTHER SO MUCH RN AND IT'S SO ENDEARING TO ME
THEY WANT TO RIP EACH OTHER LIMB FROM LIMB AND IT'S SO ROMANTIC
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juST KISS
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you can do it bby, you are incredible
I think he'd do a lot better if he had adhd meds
because he has adhd. it's canon I decided.
do you want some of my Vyvanse, kang?
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OH LOOK AT THAT, IM CRYING AGAIN
oh look at that, I ran out of screenshots
OH LOOK AT THAT, IVE BEEN WATCHING THIS FOR OVER AN HOUR AND IM ABOUT 15 MINUTES INTO THE EPISODE. FRICK.
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